Wednesday, 31 March 2010

My Movie Soundtrack

OK, this is something I found on a website. What if your life was a movie? What would the soundtrack be? This is what you do:

1. Put my iPod on shuffle
2. Press play
3. For every question, type the song that's playing
4. When you go to a new question, press the next button
5. Don't try to pretend you're cool!

Opening Credits:
The Blood - The Cure (a gloomy start...)

Waking Up:
Set Me Free - Velvet Revolver (...but a rousing wake-up song)

First Day of School:
Beautiful Feeling - PJ Harvey (Ha, the first day of school would not be a beautiful feeling!)

Falling in Love:
Oliver James - Fleet Foxes (a song about a drowning would be my falling in love song?!)

Fight Song:
The Man Don't Give a F*** - Super Furry Animals (kind of appropriate)

Prom:
Starlight - Muse (aw, very nice)

Life:
Play in the Sunshine - Prince

Mental Breakdown:
I'm Amazed - The Pixies

Driving:
Hear You Me - Jimmy Eat World

Flashback:
Feeling Good - Muse

Getting Back Together:
Rocket - Smashing Pumpkins

Losing Your Virginity:
Koka Kola - The Clash

Wedding:
To The End - Blur

Birth of Child:
Brick is Red - The Pixies

Final Battle:
Trouble - Coldplay

Death Scene:
Rudie Can't Fail - The Clash

Funeral Song:
Vicar in a Tutu - The Smiths

End Credits:
Wouldn't It Be Nice - Beach Boys

Conclusion: I think I need a few more artists in my iTunes library.

Thursday, 18 March 2010

Top 50 Movie Cliches!

A collection of some of the most annoying/amusing cliches in film!

  1. In horror films the killer always returns for one final scare.
  2. In action films the bad guy will always inform the hero of his evil plan before leaving him alone in a room for several hours with his hands untied and no guards outside, wishing them good luck with escaping. Despite this, the hero only escapes just in time OR the bad guy will have a gun to the good guy's head but will insist on giving a lengthy monologue, which lasts just long enough for someone to show up and help. 
  3. In action films the hero is never charged for criminal damage despite laying entire cities to waste.
  4. In a zombie movie one of the main characters will always get turned into a zombie, leading to a heartbreaking scene where they/someone else will have to blow their brains out.
  5. Modern films in which Americans go to England (except gangster films) will always feature English people with posh accents who live in the nicest area of London and have loads of money.
  6. In horror films, someone will always go off on their own and investigate "that strange sound" even if they're creepy dark woods, a haunted house or a maniac's lair 
  7. After having a nightmare people always sit bolt upright in bed whilst panting.
  8. You can pull someone from a cliff edge with one arm and not dislocate your shoulder. 
  9. In prison movies there will always be at least one brutal guard.
  10. The "plain" girl in the glasses will only be considered beautiful when she takes them off and shakes her hair loose.
  11. In a robbery there will always be one hysterical woman screaming who gets told threateningly to "Shut the f*** up or else!".
  12. Bad guys will always hang around after a murder and need a scruffy henchman to walk into the room and inform them "Boss, we gotta get outta here before the cops arrive!"
  13. Getting an item from a sleeping person will always result in at least two cases of said person almost waking up. 
  14. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No-one will ever think of looking for you there and you can travel to any part of the building easily.
  15. All beds have special L-shaped covers which will reach up to the armpit level of the woman and the waist level of the man.
  16. When you pay for a taxi you don't need to look at your wallet. You can just pull out a note by random and it will be the exact fare.
  17. Television news bulletins will always have a story that affects you personally at that precise moment.
  18. A detective will always solve a case only after he's been suspended from duty.
  19. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a martial arts fight. Your enemies will wait patiently to attack you by dancing around in a threatening manner until you've knocked out their predecessors.
  20. Police Departments will always assign a detective a partner who is his exact opposite. They will hate each other initially but you have a sneaking suspicion that they'll make an effective crime-fighting unit. They do.
  21. If a woman is investigating a strange noise in a house she will always be wearing her most revealing underwear.
  22. It's not necessary to say "hello" or "goodbye" in phone conversations.
  23. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a foreigner you don't need to speak the foreign language. A foreign accent will do.
  24. You're more than likely to survive any battle in any war - unless you make the grave mistake of showing someone a photo of your sweetheart/kids back home.
  25. A man will show no pain when taking a ferocious beating but will wince in agony when a woman bathes his wounds.
  26. Dogs always know who's bad and will bark at them.
  27. When they're alone with each other foreigners will speak English to one another.
  28. No matter how badly it's been attacked, a spaceship will never lose its anti-gravity system.
  29. Make-up can be worn in bed without smudging.
  30. The hero will always get the girl at the end of the movie and it seems like they will live happily ever after, only he doesn't mention her name or remember her in the sequels.
  31. You should always look behind you when you hear menacing music start to play.
  32. In action films, the leading man and lady are always single and free to fall in love. The hero is never told "Well, actually I'm seeing someone".
  33. In historical films, characters will always have gleaming white teeth.
  34. Cops will always get shot a few days before retirement.
  35. Cops investigating a case will always go to a seedy strip club/bar.
  36. The FBI will appear at a major crime scene saying "We'll take it from here" and will then argue with the local police authorities: "This is under our jurisdiction!"
  37. Cars will always explode if you shoot the petrol tank.
  38. Police captains are always angry and have no sense of humour.
  39. It's always possible to hack a government's computer system.
  40. In a spy film, the spy will find a use for every gadget.
  41. Emotional scenes always have to have tons of rain pouring down.
  42. When chased by a serial killer in a Horror film, the girl will never look straight ahead when running. She'll keep looking behind her until she trips over something.
  43. The slutty girl will always die a horrible death in a Horror film.
  44. A man and woman will always kiss passionately and/or have sex after a blazing argument.
  45. In car chases the hero will always catch up with the bad guy, no matter what cars they are driving.
  46. Rom-coms will have a man and woman who either both hate each other or one will hate the other. They will then fall in love only to have a major fight. There will then be a race to the airport, which is always easy to get to, and they'll always pick the right terminal and check-in area without being taken down by security for running in an international airport.
  47. Films set in Paris will always feature a view of the Eiffel Tower from an apartment/hotel room window
  48. Characters will always have loft style apartments in New York City, no matter what their income is.
  49. In comedies, the sidekick/best friend is always funnier than the main character.
  50. The best friend will always fancy the best friend of the main character's love interest, who is never as hot as she is.

Friday, 12 March 2010

Film Bonanza!

Today I saw not only one film at the cinema, I saw two back-to-back! I haven't done that since I saw 'Big Fish' and 'Lost in Translation' on the same day (Burton's 'Big Fish' was by far the best of the two, there's more about him below). Today I saw 'Alice in Wonderland' and 'Shutter Island' with my good friend, extremely flammable. Here are my thoughts:

Alice in Wonderland - I really wasn't sure how I'd feel about this film although I guess my mood was of cautious optimism. Lewis Carroll's 'Alice's Adventures in Wonderland' is one of my favourite books (I think it's pure genius) and I'm a big Burton/Depp fangirl so you'd think I'd have been really, really excited about seeing it. No doubt I would have been if I hadn't seen their attempt on Roald Dahl's 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory'. "I love Dahl, I love Burton, I love Depp!" was my thinking, "what could go wrong!" However, although it was visually great and Freddie Highmore gave a good performance as Charlie, I was disappointed. Depp (as much as I love him) was nowhere near as good as Gene Wilder was at playing Willy Wonka in the earlier attempt at adapting that book. Also, the Oompa Loompas were annoying and the songs mediocre at best. I wasn't sure how I'd feel about Burton taking on another classic children's book. As it turns out, his 'Alice in Wonderland' is definitely better than his 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory' but it's still a little disappointing. Rather than being a straightforward adaptation of Carroll's books 'Alice's Adventures in Wonderland' and 'Through the Looking Glass', the film is actually a sequel to those books which takes place about twelve years later. It's a fresh idea and I give credit to the screenwriter Linda Woolverton (who wrote 'Beauty and the Beast' and 'The Lion King', two of Disney's greatest films) for coming up with it. I also really liked Stephen Fry as the Cheshire Cat and Anne Hathaway as the White Queen. I DID like Helena Bonham-Carter as the Red Queen too although I've just heard Mark Kermode's review where he argues that she's basically copying Miranda Richardson's performance as Queenie in Blackadder, and thinking about it I can kind of see his point! Those are the good things about the film. The bad things? Well, sadly, I found Mia Wasikowska a bit annoying as Alice. I thought she was totally lacking in charisma. Barbara Windsor, as the Dormouse, I also found VERY annoying although she irritates me in almost everything. The film drags in places too and I think it could have done with some more humour. It's good but not great so I'd give it a 3/5.

Shutter Island - This was DEFINITELY the superior film of the two. Martin Scorsese/Leonardo DiCaprio is another Director/Actor combo that I really love. Yes, I found their 'Gangs of New York' disappointing but I absolutely love 'The Departed' (I still haven't seen 'The Aviator' all the way through but I want to). This is a very atmospheric and, at times, disturbing film. So it's not exactly a great date movie (lol) but it's an excellent psychological thriller. I thought DiCaprio was brilliant (it may be his best performance, I reckon) and I was very impressed with his performance. The rest of the cast are very good too, though. This is the kind of film that you have to stay focused on otherwise you'll end up confused but it's powerful and I think it might be even better on a second viewing: 4/5.

Other thoughts from me:
- My hair looks fine! It badly needed a trim so it looks loads better. The highlights are a bit more subtle than I'd planned but I honestly like my hair looks with them. Yay!
- I don't get darts! Last night I watched a bit of a darts tournament at the M.E.N. Arena that was on Sky Sports. I just don't understand why you'd pay all that money to go when it's not even a real sport. Give me a Tennis or Football (yes, I am a girl who likes Football!) match any day.
- Coming up: My Most Hated TV Shows...

Tuesday, 9 March 2010

Top 15 Countries I'd Like To Visit

  1. NEW ZEALAND - It looks pretty spectacular in LOTR and The Chronicles of Narnia
  2. JAPAN - I'd like to see the modern and traditional sides of it. It's a country that's so ahead in some aspects but it still has a rich history and past.
  3. ITALY - I've been to Rome before but I was only there for just under 2 days so I don't really feel like I did it justice. I didn't get a chance to see The Vatican, for example. I'd love to see more of that city and country. Great architecture, art and food. What more could a girl ask for?!
  4. SWEDEN - Not entirely sure why. It just seems like somewhere that's a little bit off the beaten track and "different".
  5. USA - I've love to check out the cities there - New York, Washington D.C, Chicago, New Orleans, San Francisco, Los Angeles, etc - and Stephen Fry's documentary made me want to go even more. Hopefully I could spot a celebrity or two as well!
  6. SOUTH AFRICA - Because it seems like an interesting mix of African and Western cultures.
  7. SPAIN - For Barcelona and to see the non-touristy parts of it. I'd avoid Benidorm like the plague.
  8. THAILAND - Purely because the beaches look really nice in photographs!
  9. GERMANY - For Berlin.
  10. CANADA - Mostly for the same reason as Thailand. Because it looks really nice in photographs.
  11. FRANCE - I've been to Paris but i'd like to learn the language and see more of the country.
  12. SWITZERLAND - For the mountains
  13. AUSTRIA - For Vienna & because I had a friend who went and loved it
  14. IRELAND - I haven't been in years and I'd like to see it again
  15. AUSTRALIA - Neighbours! Skippy! Chazzwozzers!
Honourary Mention: England. I'd quite like to see more of my own country. That includes Scotland as well.

Thursday, 4 March 2010

Favourite Food

1. Pizza
I love pretty much all Italian food but you just can't beat a good Pizza. Pepperoni's my fave although Pizza Express do many great ones that I still have yet to try : D

2. Cereal & Milk
Yep, cereal. I practically lived off the stuff at Uni. By cereal, I mean the non-disgusting kinds like Frosties & Frosted Shreddies. I don't mean Special K. Don't be fooled by their adverts! Their healthy food does NOT taste good and will NOT replace your craving for junk food. All lies!

3. Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream
Like most girls i'm a chocoholic so I was ORIGINALLY going to say Cadbury's Chocolate, but as they've BETRAYED my hometown of Birmingham by giving into the Kraft corporation, I'm going to stick two fingers up and choose Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream instead. Now, Ice Cream in general is great but B&J's beats all the rest. So many delicious flavours! Argh, why did I start this post! It's just making me hungry.

4. Cake
You're never too old for birthday cake.

5. Olives
I first tried olives when I was about 10 and hated them. Tried them again 8 years later and LOVED them. What a fool I was!

Wednesday, 3 March 2010

First Post

Ooh, how exciting! Not sure about the title of this blog as it's not especially witty or entertaining - you want to get your blog off to a good start - but it's accurate. Ok, I'd best get my introductions over and done with. My blog name is Indigo Montoya. Why, you ask? Well, there are 2 reasons: 1. The Princess Bride is one of my favourite books and its screen adaptation is also one of my favourite films. Inigo Montoya is my fave character in the book/film (closely followed by Wesley of course). He rocks. 2. Blue happens to be my favourite colour. Now, i'm fond of most colours apart from Orange (shudders) but Blue is by far my favourite. It's the colour of the SEA, the SKY. Those are lovely things & I associate blue with those lovely things. It's a calming colour, you know? So, to give my blog a bit of a personal stamp, I tweaked Inigo Montoya's name (I'm sure he won't mind) & have decided to call myself Indigo Montoya. Indigo is of course a shade of blue. Someone tried to convince me that it's a shade of purple. It's not. I've just checked and unless my Oxford English Dictionary is lying to me it's a dark blue. My real name, in case you were wondering, is Hannah. I'm from Birmingham, England. I've decided to write a blog simply because my friend has one and I want one. Jumping the bandwagon, I know. I don't think I'll be using this blog as a diary. Instead, I'll use this place to rant about things that annoy me, rave about what I love & to discuss various things about my life. There really isn't much else for me to say! Oh, I apologise in advance for any spelling mistakes and typos that I'm sure to make at some point in the course of my blogging. Bye!