Thursday, 18 March 2010

Top 50 Movie Cliches!

A collection of some of the most annoying/amusing cliches in film!

  1. In horror films the killer always returns for one final scare.
  2. In action films the bad guy will always inform the hero of his evil plan before leaving him alone in a room for several hours with his hands untied and no guards outside, wishing them good luck with escaping. Despite this, the hero only escapes just in time OR the bad guy will have a gun to the good guy's head but will insist on giving a lengthy monologue, which lasts just long enough for someone to show up and help. 
  3. In action films the hero is never charged for criminal damage despite laying entire cities to waste.
  4. In a zombie movie one of the main characters will always get turned into a zombie, leading to a heartbreaking scene where they/someone else will have to blow their brains out.
  5. Modern films in which Americans go to England (except gangster films) will always feature English people with posh accents who live in the nicest area of London and have loads of money.
  6. In horror films, someone will always go off on their own and investigate "that strange sound" even if they're creepy dark woods, a haunted house or a maniac's lair 
  7. After having a nightmare people always sit bolt upright in bed whilst panting.
  8. You can pull someone from a cliff edge with one arm and not dislocate your shoulder. 
  9. In prison movies there will always be at least one brutal guard.
  10. The "plain" girl in the glasses will only be considered beautiful when she takes them off and shakes her hair loose.
  11. In a robbery there will always be one hysterical woman screaming who gets told threateningly to "Shut the f*** up or else!".
  12. Bad guys will always hang around after a murder and need a scruffy henchman to walk into the room and inform them "Boss, we gotta get outta here before the cops arrive!"
  13. Getting an item from a sleeping person will always result in at least two cases of said person almost waking up. 
  14. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No-one will ever think of looking for you there and you can travel to any part of the building easily.
  15. All beds have special L-shaped covers which will reach up to the armpit level of the woman and the waist level of the man.
  16. When you pay for a taxi you don't need to look at your wallet. You can just pull out a note by random and it will be the exact fare.
  17. Television news bulletins will always have a story that affects you personally at that precise moment.
  18. A detective will always solve a case only after he's been suspended from duty.
  19. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a martial arts fight. Your enemies will wait patiently to attack you by dancing around in a threatening manner until you've knocked out their predecessors.
  20. Police Departments will always assign a detective a partner who is his exact opposite. They will hate each other initially but you have a sneaking suspicion that they'll make an effective crime-fighting unit. They do.
  21. If a woman is investigating a strange noise in a house she will always be wearing her most revealing underwear.
  22. It's not necessary to say "hello" or "goodbye" in phone conversations.
  23. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a foreigner you don't need to speak the foreign language. A foreign accent will do.
  24. You're more than likely to survive any battle in any war - unless you make the grave mistake of showing someone a photo of your sweetheart/kids back home.
  25. A man will show no pain when taking a ferocious beating but will wince in agony when a woman bathes his wounds.
  26. Dogs always know who's bad and will bark at them.
  27. When they're alone with each other foreigners will speak English to one another.
  28. No matter how badly it's been attacked, a spaceship will never lose its anti-gravity system.
  29. Make-up can be worn in bed without smudging.
  30. The hero will always get the girl at the end of the movie and it seems like they will live happily ever after, only he doesn't mention her name or remember her in the sequels.
  31. You should always look behind you when you hear menacing music start to play.
  32. In action films, the leading man and lady are always single and free to fall in love. The hero is never told "Well, actually I'm seeing someone".
  33. In historical films, characters will always have gleaming white teeth.
  34. Cops will always get shot a few days before retirement.
  35. Cops investigating a case will always go to a seedy strip club/bar.
  36. The FBI will appear at a major crime scene saying "We'll take it from here" and will then argue with the local police authorities: "This is under our jurisdiction!"
  37. Cars will always explode if you shoot the petrol tank.
  38. Police captains are always angry and have no sense of humour.
  39. It's always possible to hack a government's computer system.
  40. In a spy film, the spy will find a use for every gadget.
  41. Emotional scenes always have to have tons of rain pouring down.
  42. When chased by a serial killer in a Horror film, the girl will never look straight ahead when running. She'll keep looking behind her until she trips over something.
  43. The slutty girl will always die a horrible death in a Horror film.
  44. A man and woman will always kiss passionately and/or have sex after a blazing argument.
  45. In car chases the hero will always catch up with the bad guy, no matter what cars they are driving.
  46. Rom-coms will have a man and woman who either both hate each other or one will hate the other. They will then fall in love only to have a major fight. There will then be a race to the airport, which is always easy to get to, and they'll always pick the right terminal and check-in area without being taken down by security for running in an international airport.
  47. Films set in Paris will always feature a view of the Eiffel Tower from an apartment/hotel room window
  48. Characters will always have loft style apartments in New York City, no matter what their income is.
  49. In comedies, the sidekick/best friend is always funnier than the main character.
  50. The best friend will always fancy the best friend of the main character's love interest, who is never as hot as she is.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Haha! So very, very true! I'd never noticed that about the anti-gravity system but you are quite correct. In StarTrek they are continually losing photon torpedoes, warp drive, life support etc, yet the gravity system works perfectly no matter how devastating the Romulan attack. Intriguing!